Thursday, December 11, 2008

Who's Gonna Buy You That Library Now, George?

Nice one, George. You've pissed off your so-called "evangelical base" by saying the Bible isn't meant to be taken literally and that evolution is just alright by You. The Jesus Freaks feel used and betrayed.

"It was all a lie!" they wail. "We were used!"

Big deal. Let them bawl. You're no longer any use to them. And with one foot out the door, it's not like You need them anymore either, right?


The jewel of Your historical fiction "legacy" project is the George W. Bush Presidential Library. Selection of wifey Laura's alma mater SMU as the site was done all cloak and dagger-like and shit; chock full of drama and controversy from the word go. Over objections from the "Faculty, Administrators, & Staff" of SMU's Theology School(!), You & Your backers (Karl Rove leading the charge) rammed that sucker through faster than You can say Bail-Out or FISA or The Patriot Act or Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002.

Good times.

Your everlasting monument to self-delusion is scheduled to break ground next year. Jamming Your -- OK, Dick's -- twisted agenda down Americans' throats as President proved remarkably easy. Standing on the verge of becoming the most unpopular ex-Presidents ever, you'll find raising the scratch for a temple to Yourself far harder. Should've thought of that before You put the tagger at a half-a-billion buckaroos.

$500,000,000. Maybe Poppy does have diamonds stashed in a Basel safety deposit box (it's possible -- he's an ex-CIA Director, ex-Carlyle Group "advisor" & Prescott Bush's son). This is one present Pop ain't gonna buy, Junior. Say for the moment we ignore the absolute fucking insult inherent in the construction of an ridiculously expensive edifice to Your egotism in the midst of a worldwide economic disaster that occurred on Your watch because of Your watch. Where are You going to come up with the K.A.S.H.?

Pop's out. Ordinary Americans? That's chump change, George. You're wicked unpopular and, not that You've noticed, times are hard. You're not gonna get dick from the Captains of Industry or Wall Street either. AIPAC and the like are far too mercenary. Plus they've already moved on. Hell, when even Adelson's strapped, You know You're screwed.

Jimmy Swaggart, newly minted Presidential Medal of Freedom owner Chuck Colson, James Dobson, Tony Perkins -- I confess to have a hard time remembering the ones who still haven't "gone gay" -- these people were the few left standing from which You could squeeze filthy legacy library lucre. Tit for tat turnabout what with all that faith-based initiatives tax-payer cash You spiffed them. You made the Jesus Freaks feel special. It's not like You gave that money to Jews or Muslims or liberal Christians.

You had to blow it. You always blow it. Speaking dismissively of The Bible, You've gone and pissed off the Evangelicals but good. Probably Karl's Mormons too. And "mainstream" Christians. Jesus Christ, George, how long's it gonna take You to get it through your thick skull that the "M" in "SMU" stands for Methodist?!?!

Look, churches depend on gifts too. People who have ever less to give don't take kindly to having their churches' donation plates dumped into a rich man's hole in the ground. The Jesus Freaks, Mormons and Methodists will not risk offending the faithful. They will not give you one red cent.

So, who's gonna buy you that library now, George?

Cross-posted at TPM Cafe.